Since it looked a little grungey already, I decided to bleach splatter it and make it look like a complete hot mess instead of half a hot mess. All you need is a shirt, liquid bleach, a cup to put it in, and a paintbrush you're willing to destroy.
The best advice I can give for bleaching technique is swish and flick. Wingardium Leviosa, baby. Load up your paint brush dripping with bleach and fling it. It's best to work outside or on some newspapers so you don't speckle everything within a 10 foot radius.
I now know what it's like to be Jackson Pollock. It's not as easy as it looks and there is a slight technique to it, unless you just want bleach globs everywhere. Make sure you do the sides of your top as well as the front and back. You want the whole garment to be evenly splattered.
Here's the finished product!
I wasn't kidding about bleach destroying paintbrushes. Bleach is dangerous stuff; it ate most of the bristles off of my beautiful bamboo calligraphy brushes (not that I ever used it...). Be careful!